December 5th, 2021

Wow! So I finally have this site sort of running, which is cool. Yet I don't really have a clear idea for how I want it to look when everything is finished, which is not so cool. But is anything really finished? It helps to recognize everything as a kind of unfinished piece that we are just adding to in the hurried rush to establish ourselves in the great big void.

This year was really fucked up. It's not for nothing that I chose the name necrozoid. It combined how I felt about everything going on in myself and the world. Like everything is dying and everything is crazy. There's just no grounding in this reality anymore. Or whatever reality was, it is gone. I think 2021 was the year where most people kind of recognized that. Now everyone is desperately scrambling to resort the ruins, to make an identity out of the mess that we came out of with the first 20 years of the Y2Kera. Kali Yuga something or other.

I'm working. I like working because it helps me to stay goal oriented. When I'm focused on tasks at work, that carries over and helps me to maintain an interest in things that I need to do on projects at home. So in a way, this site owes a lot to my job, which keeps me motivated. Maybe my brain is just stupid. Okay, my brain is totally stupid. But I bet you understand what I'm saying. Right?! Besides, how would I be able to keep myself fueled by Monster and Bang energy drinks without a steady income?

I miss that part of my life that felt special when I was a teenager. I miss the fire that was coming out of me, way back in those early days of the 2000s. It felt like everything I did had an extra weight of meaning, even if the whole world didn't think so or congratulate me, things were getting better every day I decided to rise up and make something out of my beautiful fragile terrible strange mind.

This site should become a regular place for me to unload. There really isn't a whole lot going on in my life right now except for gaming, reading, work, and whatever I decide to watch when I'm bored. The pandemic and post-pandemic period has been really hard on the live music scene, of course. The metal scene was something that I tried to stay heavily invested in for most of my adult life. I loved going to shows and feeling the visceral power, standing at the front of the stage, and just giving into the primal energy of extreme music. Lately, I've been listening to a lot more goth, synth, and industrial however. Some of my favorite artists right now exist somewhere in the medium between all of that, like nin, Ministry, KMFDM, and Skinny Puppy.

I plan to write a bit more later. The next two weeks will definitely be good for content. When I'm in the mood, I like to get stuff done.